Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
