Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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