ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
