Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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