Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
