I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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