how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
