Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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