After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
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I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
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She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
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