Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
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