Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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