Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
