Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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