Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
