This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
