I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
