I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
