hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Randomize
