I swear she didn't look like that last week.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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