Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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