About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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