honey bunches of taint.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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