I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
