No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
