Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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