Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
