Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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