I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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