I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip