you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.