I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
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There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
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DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.