I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(