There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.