I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
