theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
