she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
