its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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