He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
