it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Send help, water and tortillas.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
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