that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
