What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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