Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
