I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize