Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
