I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
