Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
