Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
