We're facebook friends in real life
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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