Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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