There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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