he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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