The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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