I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
