and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
