o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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