I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
someone owes me an orgasm
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize