did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
