i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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