you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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