A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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