i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
