remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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