I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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