WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
