Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
