just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
