Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
