I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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