i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
