plz talk dirty to me
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
