Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
